Garagoittiko Orakulua

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Andria flakiak nekala, kotxian sartu eta gure atxekira zuzendu gaittuk: Arrigorriagan, errepublikian alde hildakuei omenaldixa eta Fermin Valencia bakarlarixan kontzertua. Uruguayen izan najuan lehelengotz gizon honen barri, eta geroztik bere musika gordin eta zintzuak gogor jot izan nok; ez dok alperrik joterua. Diskorik etxakak oiñ arte, baiña interesa dakanak errez topatzen jok Fermin Valencia eta bere musikia interneten:

Berandu heldu gaittuk baiña azken kantu bixak entzutzeko aukeria izan juagu, ez edozelakuak: "Maravillas" eta "Navarra tiene cadenas". Horregaittik bakarrik, egun osua merezi izan jok.

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 Umiei hamaiketakua emoteko, basarri baten pretillian jarri gaittuk: bertatik urten jok Sagardui jaunak gurekin barriketan jardutera. Etorri ugarixakin, gaztelera dotore eta aberatsian -bape euskal azento bakuan gero- kontau jeskuk Montejurra tertziuan peripeziak, Ganekogorta eta Pagasarriko ardi eta bihorrak zaintzen ibiltzen zanekua... hala jardun juagu hamar minutoz. Halako baten, umetan gazteleraz ez zekixala ta... "¿Y habla usted vasco? ¿Euskaraz badakizu?" galdetu nik, eta "¡Etxuat jakingo ba!" handik aurrera dana euskeraz, gazteleraz besain ondo eta hika. Sorpresa atsegiña, eta hurrenguan kontuan hartzekua: Zollon, euskeraz.

 
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Umiak negarrez hastiakin batera, katu gris-nabar eder bat etorri dok pipar landarien artetik, aspaldi ikusi doten polittenetakua. Kilikili batzu jaso eta gero, umiak ikuskatu eta bere bizimoduakin jarrattu dau, kalabaza artian galduta...

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Zollo auzua zan ustian etorri gaittuk, eta herrixa dala jakinda urten: berrogetamar lagun inguru bizi ei dittuk bertan. Sorpresa majua, Ganekogortan hegoalde ezezagun eta ederra: Elexalde auzoko  basarri xelebriak -eskillarapeko arkuekin-, aldapan behera mahastixak nunnahi, Ustara auzotik behera Kortzetako urtegi txikira. Urtegi zaharra, porlanezkuak egitten hasi baiño lehenagokua. Atsegiña emoten juan, nahiz eta pareta nagusixan baiño ezin izan garan ibilli: urtegiko bueltia asfaltau bakua,momentuz burditxuekin gabizenondako yuyu-lurraldia...

(iruddy: dopepicz.com)

Kontrakua diruring arren, I'm not asking for a firekiller who will satiate my thirsty brokeback with his full-of-liquid hose; keep lassay in your seats, my gay friends, and go on leeing.

This is about green hot pippers. I have a father-in-law who likes to spend his time baratzing. That's why in ours it sarry happens something that every basarrittar's senid hain ondo knows: tons of sagars, lechugs, powers, pippars and so on. Of course, such a big amount of genders can't enter in our sabels so easily, so we need lapiks and cameras to cook/freeze them and keep all the winter eating home-made conservs. Duda barik, this is a good thing an I'm not going to neggar about it.

There's only "A" conflictive landare at my wife's jaiotech. It gives green hot pippers, also called "güindil-las". Many of them. Once and again. And the count is that I have the ¿luck? of being the baccar one that likes them. Of course, this supposes that every time there's a visit a bag full of green hot peppers is waiting for me. Well, I really don't know what-the-Christ used they to do with them before I aggerted in their lifes.

Gauzak holan, I often happen to be with a killogram of this green dynamite. I, as many seme-alabs of postgüer-ra children, have been educated never to waste food, and this instinct prevents me from throwing them away (my policial antecedents are other reason: I surely would have problems with sapoys if putting such an arriskable material on the streets without control; maybe a urtenbid would be to carry them to the Garbigune or call the TEDAX). So I have deliberated to eat them and kitsch; and surprisingly, I'm developing a sort of upper/lower resistance.

Anyway, eating Killimo's green hot peppers is ondiok a gizatasun proof for me. I usually fry them, and then add that green pats to the current food: autumn's cold dissapears, sweat tants flow across my forehead... don't need to go far from home to feel hard emotions. The "dragon-on-fire" sentsation remains for half an hour, moreless. Egixa esand, I think that in the beginning the sentsation was unbearable presissament because I paid too much attention to it. Now, the burn seems to be the same but it's me who has accepted it and feel the gars of the fire in my digestive tract like laztans of love. Inclusive yesterday, we had to do some lans at the "Solidarity Gel" in Abittaga Cave (Amoroto), and this supposed to remain geldirik for a pair of hours -geldirik means cold, in a cave-. That's why I prested some "dynamite sandwichs" and entered them in the bizkar-sakkle. At lunch time, as I suspected my membrilloed friends didn't ausart even to haink them, so I introduced between chest & back three sandwiches of fire without pestanying; derrepent cold dissapeared from my body and I could bure my lans politely in next hours.

Going on with the rutinary culinary-fisiological process, after some digest hours have passed, then comes the second part. It's a real art to calculate when and how relax the sphinter. We have to realize that only some centimeters of the brown-pudding contained in descendant collon contain the burning capsine; the question is not to cut the gorotz just there, avoiding your sphinter from involunteerily tasting the disgusting product. If you lort it, these gorotz centimetres will just pass down oharkabean and gald down the water. That's why a good calcule is needed. Edozelanb, although some years ago the ass' fire sentsation was just unbearable for me, the hard training of last years has valued to aldate my ikuspeggy. Now I sacconly breathe, and think that cosmic energy is filling me; when espirying, its purifying properties go down my digestive tract jo-ta-dana-garbying and not even a bizix remains alive after that. That's what I feel in these hot moments and, for the sake of God, ¡believe me that it works!

That who doesn't console, it's because he doesnt't want to.

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Pena bat borroso agertzia.

Esandako moruan, umia trapuan darabigunian jente asko geratzen dok kaletik guri begira, edo komentarixua egitten: “¡Ene, begiratu!”, “¡Ai, zelako politta!”, “¡Bai ondo doiala!” eta halakuak. Baiña egixa dok irribarretsuenak emakume nagusixak izaten dirala; gaztiaguen jarkeria orokorrian positibua badok be, harrittuago geratzen dittuk. ¿Zergaittik ete?

Hipotesis bat: kontuan hartu daigun oin dala urte gitxirarte (1950, esate baterako) euskaldun gehixenak pobriak giñala estandar europarrekin alderauta; kaliak asfaltau barik bajeguazen, basarrixak zer esanik bez. Baiña emakumiak umiak izaten jittuezen, oin baiño askoz be gehixago gaiñera; biharra egitten juen; ez jeuken dirurik iñori umia jagotiarren ordaintzeko; eta jakiña, etxetik solorako bidia etxuen egingo 500 eurotako “Baby Jané” karrotxuakin, lokatzez betetako estratan zihar.

Ergo: gure amamek umiak besuetan erabilli izan jittuez. Edo gitxienez, umetzaruan berorren amen besuetan ibillittakuak dittuk. Eta ume bat besuetan erabilli bihar dabena segiduan konturatzen danez, oihal batek pisua asko deskargatzen jok. Eta kultura danetan erabilli izan dok seguru, nahiz eta historixa liburuetan agertu ez. Hortik emakume nagusixen konplizidadia.

Lekeittioko jaixetan diharduan txiringitua da Txozna Abasolo. Euren jaixak bermatzen dittuez, baiña guriak...

ç

Barakaldoko Cruces auzuan dagon ospittalian ostera, parkingeko "soilaru" guztietan halako dozenaka kartekl topau geinkez:

Zelan ez, "Euzkal Errian Euzkaras" bestiarixuan bere lekua merezi dabez bixak.

Sometimes, new euskaldunberries who want to approach to kaleko berbett, tend to hyperenxebrize some terms, in order to appear jatorrer than they really are. That's what happened to a famous bilbish cantant (who, all has to be said, I admire and laket) in his starts. Natch of Philip gave some lotsagarries adibids of this in the former discs of Oskorry. It's enough to listen to this song "Dabil beharrean".

Sareak hedaturik

itsaso gorriyan (for gorrean)

galerna zekenaren

beti beldurriyan

eguzkiaren pean

edo elurriyan

beti arrantzaliya maitia

dabil beharriyan.

Hala artzain gaixoa

mendi tontorriyan

nekazaria ere

laiako lurriyan

edo obrero eta

ola meharriyan

beti arrantzaliya maitia

dabil beharriyan.

Euskaldun langileak

modu zuhurriyan

dirau diru kontuan

lege zaharriyan

gaizkien pagaturik

itsas-bazterriyan

beti arrantzaliya maitia

dabil beharriyan.

Zergaitik horrenbeste

gutxitan barriyan (for barrean)

eta hain sarri gero

berriz negarriyan

Adanen pekatuko

mentura txarriyan

beti arrantzalia maitia dabil beharriyan, ai ai ai

beti arrantzalia maitia dabil beharriyan.

We have to say that the letter of this song was well-written by Gabriel Aresty, and it's Natch who enters his leg when pronouncing it. Double grave, if you're an artist and your lan will be recorded forever and ever to remember us your akats every time we listen that song. Ayway, I would like this message to be irakorred mainly by some hiperjatorrist folks of my town, who like to employ oftenegy abocinated terms like: bidixua, sasoixa or leikedostazu.